Monday, April 10, 2006

awake in the night

who knows why I can't sleep.... it could be any number of things.... I will choose to blame it on the fact that for some odd reason I miss Pittsburgh's April now and I have been away for a couple of months. I believe that it is just starting to set into my bricked-up heart and mind that I have completely started a new chapter in my life. All of the patterns I have been so use to have been broken...good and bad....I miss them equally. I would normally be walking around the waterfront after a late movie at Lowe’s (taking for granted the scent of a Pittsburgh spring) wondering how long I was going to end up at eat n' park this time. It sounds funny I know but I miss it. I can not stand eat n'park and their smiley cookies that taste like cardboard.... and yet everyone buys them. The seasons didn't really change out here in just got warmer....very depressing. Although Kansas has not treated me all bad, the area is flourishing and opportunity is all around me.....unfortunately I was never good at embarking on any opportunities that came my way....I think I more enjoyed discussing them over a breakfast smile and dreaming of the good fortune they might bring my way. you may think I didn't take any chances out of fear and you are probably right...although I blame most of it on habitual neglect of welcoming change into my life.... well change has found me and I now stare into his eyes everyday...I must admit it is kinda scary facing a new city everyday....but change has afforded some great if I could only find a 24 hour restaurant where I could revel in the possibilities.